A wave of mocking disbelief swept the nation as everyone from the politically disengaged to members of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's own Gummint sunk lower in their seats and cringed. Our Prime Minister had knighted the man whose official title is HRH The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, Earl of Merioneth and Baron Greenwich, KG (Knight of the Garter), KT (Knight of the Thistle), OM (Order of Merit), GBE (Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the British Empire), AC (Companion of the Order of Australia), QSO (Companion of The Queen’s Service Order), PC (Privy Counsellor).
Enough already.
Never mind the real Australia Day Awards; Rosie Batty's win became an also-ran as the Prince's new gong hogged headlines, none of which were supportive.
Yackety Sax went to war with the Chicken Dance as the preferred news soundtrack of the day.
How have we come to this? The political adage "You get the government you deserve" - variously attributed to Joseph le Maistre, Thomas Jefferson, H.L. Mencken, and Ayn Rand - could not have meant this, surely. Even Chris Kenny's 'leftie luvvies' never imagined this future when we shouted from the rooftops in 2013 that Tony Abbott would be an embarrassment. There's no victory in our progressive souls as we nod at Liberal supporters and think to ourselves, We told you so. Today, we cringe as one.
It's been a steep and relentless descent into political insanity for the Prime Minister and the journey is not yet half over. When the Abbott Government was elected in September 2013, voters on the left were dismayed, disappointed, and a little bit anxious. Tony Abbott had been an effective Opposition Leader, but his colleagues and staff would moderate his more extreme notions. Wouldn't they?
Ha! Twenty-twenty hindsight could not be more lucid. Only in recent weeks have we heard the rumblings of dissent from the Right side of the chamber, culminating in this week's near total negativity from Coalition MPs. Joe Hockey and Matthias Cormann tried to distance themselves from Prince Philip's knighthood, while Barnaby Joyce was openly critical. Many more MPs have commented on the condition of anonymity.
MPs are split on what the “WTF moment” – as one Coalition member dubbed it – might mean for the PM’s job as he battles claims he’s out of touch and non-consultative.
Insiders say Mr Abbott is not in any immediate trouble but agree he has given his critics more ammunition to lobby for a leadership change.
“Yesterday the clock started ticking,” one Coalition MP said. “I just can’t believe he’s going to piss his prime ministership against the wall for Prince Philip.”
Others cautioned their colleagues to “keep perspective” as backbenchers who were openly critical on Monday became more conciliatory, opting for some damage control.Coincidentally, this week was the first week of former ABC political journalist Mark Simkin's tenure as head of communications in the Prime Minister's Office. It might be possible to spin the knighthood catastrophe, but I doubt it. The best approach seems to be allowing Prime Minister Abbott to own his 'captain's pick', thereby absolving the rest of his Cabinet of any responsibility.
In early 2014, with the reality of an Abbott Government sinking in, we learned of the horrific realities of Stopping the Boats. Operation Sovereign Borders was in full swing. The Gummint was implementing its campaign slogans. Reza Berati was dead; thousands more were suffering in sub-standard offshore detention facilities, and Scott Morrison gave us a handy euphemism for things we don't want to talk about: "on water matters". We were, and we remain angry.
So we marched in March. Hundreds of thousands of Australians delivered a vehement message of No Confidence in the Abbott Government, and we were serious. It wasn't the post-farce irrelevance of 2015. Not yet.
There was shock, and near hysterical disbelief when in April of 2014. Mr Abbott announced his plan to reintroduce Knights and Dames as Australian honours. At least it wouldn't hurt anyone, we thought. This was what we had expected: occasional crazy yet basically harmless impulses.
But the red-hot rage was just starting to build. Joe Hockey's first budget was so uneven, so hateful, that it remains impossible to pass. On Budget Night, Treasurer Joe Hockey announced cut after cut, and broke promise after promise with the same sombre flair and determination as a bingo caller at the local RSL. Australians despaired as ministers sweated with the effort of selling the unsellable. (It was rarely the message or the messenger, as Dee Madigan explained on QandA last year.)
The months that followed were strewn with Tony Abbott's special brand of incompetence. His team congratulated themselves for axing both the Carbon Tax and Mining Tax at the same time as polling revealed that the majority of Australians wanted the same Government to take stronger action on climate change. Joe Hockey bleated about the on-again/off-again budget emergency and bloopered about poor people not driving very far.
As the G20 summit in Brisbane approached, our Prime Minister made international headlines when threatened to 'shirtfront' Russian President Vladimir Putin, and campaigned to keep Climate Change off the G20 Agenda.
US President Barack Obama had something to say about that...and about climate change.
More recently, there was the Coalition's first term defeat in Victoria, the failed Prime Ministerial Reset, his minor reshuffle, and the extraordinary triple somersault with two-and-a-half twist backflip on the Medicare copayment, and his complete absence from the Queensland state election.
It's clear that the Liberal Party should be concerned, but not by the polling numbers alone. The real problem is the unpredictability of Tony Abbott. There's no telling when the next 'captain's pick' might be, or what it might involve. Has he reached Peak Stupid yet, as First Dog on the Moon suggested yesterday, or is there more to come?
Commentator Peter Van Onselen had this to say in yesterday's Australian:
The Coalition must decide now if the risk of a Prime Ministerial spill is greater than the risk of hitting rock bottom and commencing to dig?"[But] we might look back on yesterday as the moment when fence-sitters changed their collective minds on whether talk of removing the PM needs to be seriously considered. That’s how bad the judgment call was. If no one in the PMO tried to stop Abbott knighting Philip that is concerning. If they did, and he refused to listen, that’s even worse."
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